Table of Grace: Family Meetings {Parenting on Purpose}

A few months ago the hubby and I decided we were going to start doing family meetings. Ok, let me rephrase that, a few months ago I decided we were going to start doing family meetings and the hubby reluctantly agreed.

The reason is simple. We are a large, blended, busy family. We don't always have all of us together, so when we do, we need to make the most of our time.

The first family meeting was a mess. So was the second. I think now for the third (coming this weekend) we will have some control. I dusted off my "Robert's Rules of Order" and have modified it to these simple rules:

1. Mom and Dad are the Executive Board. All decisions need to be finalized by us. It may not happen right away, or exactly how everyone wants it, but that is ok.

2. Everyone gets a turn to talk. What I have done to make it easier and to get everyone to participate is I give them all a sheet with certain questions that we will go over in the meeting. I try to give them the sheet the morning of the meeting, giving them all day to think about it.
The standard questions are;
What 3 things as a family are we doing well?
What 3 things as a family could we do better?
What is your personal goal this month?
Last month, I asked for 5 things they want to do over the summer, 5 meals they really enjoy and then I always leave space for anything else they want to add. The hubby and I answer the same questions.

3. We meet monthly, and we meet early in the evening. We play a game after.

4. We start every meeting with a prayer.

5. Everyone participates.

6. NO ONE GETS IN TROUBLE FOR WHAT THEY SAY. This is important. The kids need to feel comfortable to say what they need to say without retaliation.

Besides giving all 8 of us a chance to sit down and focus only on family matters, we are getting the opportunity to hear all of the kids thoughts on topics that concern them. It also helps the kids learn important skills for when they have to work in a group at school or when they get a job and have to go to team meetings. It also allows us to let the kids know where we are at with big things, like buying a house, family vacations etc. We don't share all of our financials with them, but it helps when we say "we are saving to go on vacation, so we need to limit how much we eat out". We also are able to go over the custody schedule as it changes frequently, depending on work schedules etc.

Most importantly though, it connects us as a family. Our kids are getting older, the oldest will be 15 at the end of the summer. Crazy,