11 years ago when I married my ex-husband, I didn't really put a lot of thought into what marriage was. Most of my friends were married, and seemed happy, and my ex and I were pretty good friends, we thought we were in love, so getting married sounded like a good idea. Add to that the military demands, and us not wanting to end our relationship, so of course the next logical step was to get married. While I wanted a catholic wedding (key word there-wedding), I let that go when he told me he was not confirmed. I figured we could do it later. I never really put a lot of thought into the sacrament of marriage, just the wedding.
Fast forward: After 8 years of being married, in the strictly legal sense, we ended it.
Fast forward again to July 2013. I went back to the catholic church after a long conversation with God on my bathroom floor. Shortly after I met my beloved, and on December 29, (the feast of the Holy Family none the less) he asked me to be his wife.
We started marriage prep a few month ago. We started with the
Compass financial program, a 9 week bible study, directed at managing money God's way. The blessings that poured from that small group has been amazing (more on that later), and the friends we have made are truly gifts from God.
About a month ago, we started
FOCCUS and I realized while taking the first assessment, that had I done this over a decade ago, I would not have married my ex. Why? Because we would have been so incompatible, that I would hope we would have had the common sense to just end it.
Yet, when my beloved and I went back to see the compatibility-we were pleasantly surprised at how closely our answers matched. Not saying that we are 100% the same, but in the areas that really count, we are on the same page.
Yesterday we went to the first of two marriage prep retreats. This one was on Saint John Paul the Great (how cool is that to call him that now!)
"Theology of the Body". I had heard, mostly from my fiance about this, but having it spelled out in a simple format really brought it into a clear perspective of what sex really is. Sex is when a couple (married, in the church) renews their vows. It is the word (the vows) made into flesh.
This also went into
Natural Family Planning, or NFP. It is not just when you are fertile, and when you should have sex to have a baby...it is so much more. It is to practice periods of abstinence with your spouse, and what that means as a couple. Even though I cannot currently have more kids (again more on that later), I still want to take the full class, so my soon to be husband and I can fully appreciate each other in our marriage.
Before I started this journey of preparing for a Christ centered marriage, I thought marriage prep was going to be a recap of what it means to be in a catholic marriage, but it has become so much more. It has been a journey into my heart and soul. I never had my doubts that I am marrying the right man before, but now God has reaffirmed it ten thousand times over.
And for that I am truly blessed.
